Paladin accidentally unleashes unstoppable plague of maggots upon Azeroth

The Battle for Azeroth has ended much sooner than anyone anticipated, and everyone lost. Everyone, that is, except the maggots.

The beginning of the end started when Rextroy, a human paladin, realized he could cultivate Waycrest Manor's infectious maggots and bring them to Uldir, using the legion of loathsome larvae in conjunction with his Last Defender ability to overpower and single-handedly defeat MOTHER (Matron of Tenacity, Herald of Endless Research).

Everything would have been fine had Rextroy stopped there, but the ambitious paladin wasn't finished yet, dragging his gallery of grotesque grubs onward through the ancient titan quarantine facility until at last he stood before G'huun. And as the Old God's corrupting pestilence fell upon the ravenous maggots, causing them to instantly bloat, swell, then begin multiplying to impossible numbers, it occurred to Rextroy that perhaps he'd made a mistake.

Zandalar fell within the hour, with Kul Tiras succumbing shortly after. While the Alliance was initially perturbed by what Rextroy had unwittingly unleashed, it was the Horde that first realized the devastating ramifications, as the maggots began hungrily chewing a swath of destruction through the Forsaken ranks.

"How did they discover our only weakness?!" shouted Warchief Sylvanas Windrunner, before disappearing beneath by the pale, twitching swarm.

Any satisfaction the Alliance may have derived from their enemies' woes were short-lived, however, as it wasn't long before the outbreak had spread to the streets of Stormwind and Orgrimmar, and from there, the entirety of the Eastern Kingdoms and Kalimdor. Even now, the all-consuming, unstoppable throng sweeps across the world, devouring anything and anyone in its path.

"In retrospect, maybe it was a bad idea to introduce eternally-spawning parasitic maggots to an ancient, perfect avatar of rot and decay, who is also worshiped by a fanatical race of trolls with a historical fondness for contagious, apocalyptic plagues," said Rextroy from a hillock above Stormwind, watching as the wave of squirming, wriggling grubs engulfed the city below.

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    Should've been a Gnome releasing the maggots. Because that's what Gnomes do.... ;-)

    September 21, 2018 at 3:58 AM