Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction.
Mere hours after learning that their AOL overlords were shutting them down, community fansite WoW Insider has announced a brand new corporate partner: the Iron Horde.
"It was really a no-brainer," said Grommash Hellscream, Warchief of the Iron Horde. "The Iron Horde is all about integrity, hard work and undying loyalty, and if anyone has those qualities in spades, it's that crew."
"FEBRUARY 3. Mark your calendar," tweeted Editor-in-Chief Alex Ziebart this morning, a few hours after AOL's proclamation.
Seriously. TUESDAY. That's when you can start supporting our crew if you still want us doing what we do. FEBRUARY 3. Mark your calendar.— Alex Ziebart (@AlexZiebart) January 30, 2015
Eagle-eyed readers may have noticed that February 3rd is also the day Blackrock Foundry, the massive forge and smithy that is the center of the Iron Horde's military might, is scheduled to open its doors.
Sure enough, this was no coincidence. Moments ago, Hellscream and Ziebart held a press conference confirming the new alliance between the two powerful communities. The website will now be known as Iron Insider to reflect the new partnership, and the staff headquarters will be relocated to Gorgrond, within the fiery depths of Blackrock Foundry itself.
However, both 'Chiefs promised that the website's honest editorial coverage would not be affected, and that the community and spaces for discussion would retain the integrity and safety Insider readers have come to know and love.
"I don't really understand it," said Hellscream, shaking his head. "You've got a squad of skilled, tenacious people, the best around, and even when things looked grim, they continued to churn out top-notch, unfaltering work. And they have a dedicated, huge group of followers that love them. You're sitting on an untapped True Iron mine! And you're just going to toss it away? It just doesn't make any sense, but I suppose their stupid, bizarre decision is our gain."
Asked about the moral implications of aligning with the Iron Horde, Ziebart nodded, as if expecting the question. "As Editor-in-Chief, it's my job to ensure that my team not be forced to work with cruel, evil tyrants who don't care about the rest of the world, who savagely turn on their own loyal members, and who only care about their own personal gain and profit. And that's why we're no longer with AOL."
"We've got some big editorial plans in the works," said Hellscream, grinning. "The first thing we're going to do is get Matthew Rossi down in the Pit to start training the new grunts. Have you read that guy's stuff? Dude really knows how to be a warrior."
When asked if this indicated that the much-beloved Class Columns could possibly be returning, Hellscream nodded emphatically. "Ner'zhul's jewels, yes! Some of our soldiers have absolutely no idea what they're doing, so we could really use some experts to help them out. I mean, just the other day I heard that one of our scouts carries around thirteen axes. Thirteen! How many axes does one orc really need?"
The two 'Chiefs concluded the press conference with the confirmation that longtime Insider features would continue unabated, with only minor modifications. Some of the features mentioned included WRUP (What Are You Pillaging), Around Draenor, Know Your Gore, and Sunday Funnies.
"You will never again be slaves to AOL!" shouted Hellscream and Ziebart together, raising axe and pen skyward, to deafening cheers from the assembled crowd.
and memories over the years, WoW Insider. You will be sorely missed!)