Malfurion Stormrage by SiaKim
Archdruid Malfurion Stormrage shocked the world this morning by announcing he would be abandoning his longtime druidic rank and title, as well as his actual name.
"It's been fun being The Malfurion Stormrage, Shan'do, Archdruid of the Moonglade, Chosen of Cenarius and all that, but I overheard some humans in Darnassus talking about something called a Superb Owl, and I thought to myself, 'Superb Owl? That should be me! I already have the wings, and I'm already totally superb.'"
Stormrage added that he would continue his druidic duties, but from now on planned to utterly ignore anyone who did not properly refer to him by his new Superb Owl label, calling his former archdruid title "droll and overused."
"I mean, there's like twenty archdruids now. It used to be something special, but they're making just about anyone an archdruid these days. Fandral was one, Hamuul's another, hell, isn't freaking Broll an archdruid?" said Stormrage, shaking his enormous antlered head in dismay.
"I tell you what though, there's only one Superb Owl. THIS GUY," he added, double thumb-pointing at himself.
Stormrage, or "Owlfurion" as he insisted people now call him, also announced that he would be training willing druids how to change their flight forms into owls.
"Let's see, first you've gotta go talk to Olm the Wise, then you'll need to go beat Ban'thalos in a race, then after that...ah, I don't fucking know. Kill some satyrs or something. Whatever."
When asked if his new owl-themed rank and name had anything to do with Dori'thur, the mystical owl companion of his wife Tyrande Whisperwind, Stormrage ruffled his feathers in irritation.
"Don't be ridiculous, I chose this name because I am the Superb Owl, and that's it. It has nothing to do with Tyrande's stupid bird who defends her against Horde attackers while I sit there doing nothing, and how her dumb pet makes me look bad. Nothing at all."
Asked what Whisperwind thought of his decision, Stormrage seemed to grow confused.
"Why in the name of the Superb Owl would I ask her?" he said, bewildered.