Gnews: Wickerman Festival canceled, Forsaken sad

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by Lexicon Quillsniffer

Tirisfal Glades trees are breathing a sigh of relief today after Lady Sylvanas Windrunner announced that there would be no Wickerman Festival this year.

The annual event saw Forsaken residents gathering around an enormous wicker effigy before Windrunner lit it aflame, symbolizing their struggle against the Lich King and others who would oppose them. While the event was focused on the Forsaken and their history, members of other races were warmly welcomed, and encouraged to enjoy the festivities.

"My fellow Forsaken, I am pleased to announce that our efforts in Hillsbrad and the Plaguelands have met with great success," said Windrunner in a global press release. "Next, I intend to heavily focus on expanding our influence in the the Arathi Highlands and re-establishing our chokehold on Gilneas. The Hinterlands are also tantalizingly close, and it is my goal to deliver Aerie Peak into my people's hands as soon as possible.

"However, in light of our jam-packed schedule, I have decided to hold the next Wickerman Festival in a year's time. I will release more details about our military objectives in the weeks ahead. Power and glory to the Forsaken."

The unexpected announcement has staggered Forsaken citizens, and a palpable sense of confusion and dazed disbelief has spread throughout the Undercity. Most of Windrunner's people seem to be accepting and understanding of their leader's decision, but are still deeply saddened by the cancellation.

"Well, I am sure the Dark Lady knows what she's doing," said Apothecary Lycanus, "I mean, on a practical level? I get it. She has to prioritize our resources for upcoming military efforts. But am I disappointed? Of course.

"The burning of the Wicker Man gave us something to celebrate together," continued Lycanus. "It allowed us - if only briefly - to forget whatever troubles or issues we might have in our normal lives. For a few hours, it let us simply relax and enjoy a few moments of peace and camaraderie with our brethren. This year just won't be the same without it."

The news was quite unwelcome to Forsaken who lived far from the Undercity. To Clarice Foster, who resides in Thunder Bluff, the announcement came as "a kick in the teeth."

"My year is RUINED," said Foster, scowling. "I look forward to the Wickerman Festival every year, not simply because it allows us to celebrate our people's culture, not just because I get to watch that big Arthas-stand-in burn, but because I also get to visit with all of my old friends, who I so rarely see nowadays. This may come as a shock, but I do miss my people. Do you have any idea how long it takes to send a letter from Thunder Bluff?"

Calder Gray, a Forsaken posted to Desolation Hold in the Southern Barrens, was visibly upset when he received the news.

"This is dreadful news, simply dreadful!" moaned Gray, putting aside the brain he was carrying to rub his temples. "My beautiful little child was created out here in the field - he's never actually been to the Undercity or had a chance to learn about our history! In fact, he has never even seen another Forsaken before! I'm the only undead face he knows, poor fellow. He was so looking forward to learning about where he came from, and now I'll have to disappoint him."

One Forsaken rogue named Corpsegrinder had an awful lot to say on the matter. Unfortunately, his profanity filter had switched on and this writer was unable to understand anything he said.

However, not everyone is upset by the festival's postponement. Critics of the wildly controversial Banshee Queen have pounced, proclaiming her decision as clear indications of weakness.

"This is why I should be leader," said Lord Godfrey in a letter which was received by post earlier today. "I would never cancel your Wicker Guy Carnival, or whatever it is. If you are sick of her lazy attitude toward things, you should seriously consider quitting Sylvanas' Forsaken. Her ways are old and tired. Cancel your allegiance and come reside with me in this dirty rotten keep. It's way better."

"I'm the Windrunner-killer, after all," he added.

Horde Warchief Garrosh Hellscream was unsympathetic upon hearing of his peer's decision.

"First she loses a lot of loyal followers in Silverpine, now she's canceling her yearly celebration, even though her people all love it? Sounds like someone's panicking, LOL," said Hellscream.

Windrunner declined to comment on the announcement or her people's reactions. She did, however, state that Hellscream was "an idiot."

5 Responses Subscribe to comments

  1. gravatar

    I'd use an excuse to call Garrosh an idiot too. *grins*

    January 25, 2012 at 2:07 PM

  2. gravatar

    ""First she loses a lot of loyal followers in Silverpine, now she's canceling her yearly celebration, even though her people all love it? Sounds like someone's panicking, LOL," said Hellscream."

    I died laughing when I read this. I think someone actually said this almost verbatim about cancelling blizzcon on twitter. I lol'd a lot.

    January 25, 2012 at 3:26 PM

  3. gravatar

    Brilliant, just brilliant. Loved it to bits. Even if the closests I've been to Blizzcon was the worldwide one in france of 08

    January 27, 2012 at 5:58 AM

  4. gravatar
    Scout and Sage

    I can't say I do BlizzCons.. but I did spend 10 years of my life as unpaid staff for various Sci-Fi and Anime cons.. and let me tell you, even a con 1/10th their size is a huge undertaking. I can totally understand why Blizzard is cancelling it. What I don't understand is why a group don't get together and put together their own WoW celebration if the social aspect is so very important.

    Why, you can have the opening ceremonies have the top ten list of why Garrosh should be dethroned. (Our server has been known to help alliance kill Garrosh.. *cough*) And drinking games and..

    Personally tho, I think Sylvanas is just too busy doing her hair and buffing her armour to play around with fire.

    January 27, 2012 at 9:33 AM

  5. gravatar

    I have this sudden urge to go listen to The Wicker Man by Iron Maiden.

    Hmm.... Iron Maiden = Dark Lady?

    January 27, 2012 at 1:00 PM