The paladin of infinite rage

Time for a good old failpug story! Or rather, a story about a pug that tried its hardest to become a failpug but failed because me and two others refused to let it, through sheer force of will, determination, and seething, intense rage.

The heroic was Utgarde Pinnacle. There was myself (Rades), a paladin tank, a DPS druid (in bear form), a resto druid (...also in bear form), and a DK. The two druids and the DK were both in the same guild. The druids...also had almost identical names, something like Blackboil and Blackboyle.

Sometimes you can just smell the failpug coming, can't you?

The pally buffed us up and turned to the druids. "DRUID BUFF??" he inquired. The healer responded by immediately disconnecting. The other druid buffed us and asked that we give the disconnected druid a moment. "JUST OFFHEAL" politely suggested the tank as he went barreling in. The (feral) druid gamely kept us alive in the first pull, and then quickly switched to his offspec which was surprisingly, restoration! Maybe this wouldn't be so bad?

By the time we reached Svala the tank started getting surly about the still-DC'd druid. The remaining druid & DK apologized for their absent guildie though, and asked us to be patient, so he grumpily consented. Svala went down easily, then after downing Gortok, the paladin ran off and started the Skadi event. We were 20 seconds into the fight when we noticed the DK was still standing back in the other room, having ninja-AFK'd. "WTF R U AFK FUUUUUUUCK" queried the paladin as he and the druid ate a whirlwind and died. Skadi stomped up and pulverized my wolf (I feigned), and then to my great amusement, ran all the way down the hall into Gortok's room to seek the AFK DK and crush him.

A spew of enraged curses directed at the druid's guildies burst from the paladin as they ran in, and I cringed, expecting the worst. Then to make matters worse, while they ran back we decided to finally kick the long-DC'd druid.


We kicked him, then realized to our horror that we couldn't requeue...because when we selected our party roles, the AFK DK wasn't there to choose a role, making the queue fail.

The paladin started stroking out at this turn of events, and I thought for sure that would be it. However the pally wasn't about to let two "dick cheeses" ruin HIS run, so we continued on and three-manned Skadi and Ymiron with a little caution and crowd control. The whole time, the paladin continued to get ANGRIER and ANGRIER at the missing people - it felt like we were dangerously close to reaching his own personal enrage timer.

Thankfully, the rest of the run went smoothly, despite only having 3 people. I inspected the druid after Ymiron went down and saw that he had been doing a much better job than I had thought - 75% of his gear was feral gear, with a spattering of spellpower blues and greens.

Even after completing this hell run did the mystery AFK DK continue to haunt us, since we had to wait the full loot timer for him to "pass" on the loot. At this point, the paladin succinctly summarized the entire run by announcing "oh well need to take a shit anyway," and then went AFK. A suitable ending.

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    My palm is too small for the magnificent /facepalm this story deserves.

    I am genuinely unsure whether to laugh or give up on humanity and become a hermit.

    April 16, 2010 at 7:38 AM

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    Hahahaha. A succinct ending, indeed. "Dangerously close to his personal enrage timer" is my favourite line. I'm going to have to use that!

    April 16, 2010 at 10:23 AM

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    @Tam - I think the only thing we can do in these situations is just shake your head and laugh, and go along with the ride. It's too depressing otherwise! I always take on a spectator role when stuff like this happens, just amused to see how the train wreck continues to spiral out of control.

    @Vid - Haha, yeah it fit him perfectly! I could FEEL his growing fury the longer and longer the run took. It was only a matter of time before he just exploded and drop kicked his computer.

    April 16, 2010 at 4:09 PM

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    I would probably get mad too >.< Just because I would feel it is such an inconsiderate thing to do!

    April 20, 2010 at 4:38 PM

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    Had something not quite so bad recently. Got VH in sanity tap on my hunter. Zoned in and a a Ret pally sat down after we had started the portals and did not move at all for the first 3 waves. I finally got the other party members to stop dps and Misdirected a portal keeper on to him while the rest of the party watched the AFK'er get his face eaten.

    We then proceeded to 4 man the whole run with Mr AFK taking a dirt nap. :)

    April 22, 2010 at 5:03 PM