Almost failpug: Heroic Pit of Saron

Yesterday Golagros (DK dps, real-life buddy) came over and we queued for the random heroic and we got heroic Pit of Saron. We got matched with a warrior tank, an elemental shaman and a hunter.

The warrior tank announced 0.2 seconds into the run that he was a new tank. While I appreciate his being honest, I find it curious that a "new tank" is immediately leaping into the second hardest heroic available. He was well-geared, and had stuff from all three new heroic 5-mans, so he had clearly ran them before. I figured this would mean, at worst, he would know the fights and the instance basics.

The first problem came after going up the little hill immediately after the first packs of trash. We killed the bone worker there, but the tank ran forward and aggroed the sneaky bone worker down below, something which I was looking out for since I've seen it happen numerous times before.

What I wasn't ready for was the shaman AND hunter to start blasting the worker, snapping it away from its initial warrior target...who didn't even see the worker at all, since he was busy charging at the dragon walking by. Only a heroic effort by Golagros saved them, as he death gripped the bone worker while I spammed heals on both him and the tank, who was off by himself getting his face chewed off and probably wondering why the dragon was taking so long to die. We all survived, but it didn't bode well.

By the time we were fighting the second dragon patrol I noticed that the ranged DPS were both pulling aggro like maniacs and not doing anything to assist in their own survival. I don't know what tools shamans have, but I watched the hunter tank the dragonrider with his face for a good fifteen seconds without a trap, a feign death, running to the tank, anything. I kept him alive partially out of the healer "gotta save 'em all" mentality but partially out of morbid entertainment.

We were killing the trash after Garfrost when Golagros pointed out how low the hunter's DPS was. I flipped on recount and sure enough, the hunter's DPS overall was 1100. So I inspected him, and cried a little inside and even shouted at the screen a bit - he was Beast Mastery.

I was pretty confused, as he was well geared (he was actually the best-geared person in the group) and BM isn't exactly hard to play. And he didn't have a weird pet, he had a wolf. A few seconds watching him explained everything - 90% of his attacks were autoshots. I saw him cast one steady shot on the pack of geists that ambush you. ONE. STEADY. SHOT. I quickly stopped watching was just depressing me.

After killing one of the zombie workers before Ick & Krick, the shaman suddenly ran out in front (!) and body-pulled the next one (!!) before running back to the tank in panic. Thankfully, the tank picked it up easily and there was no disaster, but I was still cursing at the shaman out of game. I should have taken it as a sign.

Ick & Krick was interesting. The hunter died spectacularly from the first poison nova. The HUNTER died from the POISON NOVA. Which only hits enemies WHO ARE CLOSE TO THE BOSS. The elemental, also-ranged-dps shaman then died on the SECOND poison nova. Then Golagros underestimated the boss's reach during its pursuit phase, and also bought it. Amazingly, we still pulled it off, as I battle rezzed Golagros and the shaman self-rezzed.

The mobs leading up the hill were as awful as they always are. The tank had trouble holding aggro on multiple mobs, and the fight turned into a desperate mix of throwing HoTs on everyone, spamming heals on myself, barkskin, entangling roots, Golagros death-gripping mobs off me, etc. We survived, with me at about 25% mana. I imagine my tree was staggering, gasping for air at this point. I announced that I needed to drink and sat down, and predictably, the shaman ran up the hill and face-pulled. We tried, but it was a wipe.

On the flight back Golagros was raging out-of-game at the stupid shaman, and while I agreed, my personal rule is one wipe is acceptable in a heroic regardless of what caused it, so instead I just offered a neutral "that pull is always tough" in party chat. We all flew back and gathered at the base of the hill except the shaman, who for some reason took about 30 seconds longer to get back. Maybe lag, maybe got lost as a ghost, who knows. But as soon as he arrived, the tank charged off into the mobs (!) without waiting for buffs or for the shaman to heal or regain mana. I raged at the screen while spraying HoTs everywhere and quickly giving everyone Gift of the Wild. Miraculously, we somehow made it through, though I imagine the tree this time as being just a limp, empty husk on the ground tethered to the over-exuberant tank's boots.

Our first attempt at Tyrannus was short and terrible. The first Overlord's Brand went on the shaman, who didn't stop attacking at all and disintegrated the tank in about a second. I battle rezzed the tank, who leapt back into the fray, but by that time the hunter and shaman had both died. We tried to 3-man it, but it's virtually impossible because of his abilities. With fewer targets either Golagros or myself always had the Brand, which meant that either there was no damage being dealt to him, or he was being heavily healed. We sloooowly brought him from 95% to 70% but eventually decided to just wipe it and try again.

The second shot at Tyrannus went fine, though there was a hilarious (to me) moment as the hunter suddenly stopped shooting to run into melee. Baffled, I watched him and burst out laughing when I realized he had run in to lay traps. I wasn't even upset or annoyed - it was just so unexpected. And it was clear he was trying, bless his immolation trap-laying autoshooting heart.