New Alliance "doesn't care" about Diversity, says Grand Marshal Garithos

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Recent statements from a big name in the New Alliance hierarchy has made something very clear: this is an army about "winning", not diversity.

Grand Marshal Othmar Garithos gave a speech to New Alliance troops yesterday emphasizing that as their commander, he sought "epic winning experiences" and that rather than focusing on forging future racial ties and allegiances, his army would focus on chin clefts and sweet moustaches.

As the former Knight of Lordaeron continually hammered home his emphasis on "racial purity", he specifically mentioned that under his leadership, the New Alliance would be strongly opposed to "working together" with other races such as the dwarves or blood elves.

When asked if cooperating with other races might one day lead to humans, dwarves and elves all living peacefully together, Garithos snorted and rolled his eyes.

"I wouldn't say that's really a value for me. It's not something that I'm against either, but it's just not something that I give a shit about."

Garithos argued that the human soldiers in the New Alliance grew up revering human heroes like Anduin Lothar and Thoras Trollbane, and that at the end of the day, they were all "kids at heart."

"Humans rule, right boys? Right? Right!" said Garithos with a chuckle, high-fiving his lieutenant, Kristoff.

"Anyway, these fellows, they dreamed about being a hero like Lothar, with human partners, a human army, a proud human moustache," said Garithos. "We're not trying to bring in all this other stuff, this 'socially relevant' or 'equality' nonsense, or actively trying to encourage racial diversity or do things like that. Because we don't care."

Garithos went on to note that "because most of our soldiers are lads who grew up hearing stories about human heroes," the widespread New Alliance attitude that other races were incompetent, cowards or traitors "is offensive to, I guess, some dwarves and elves."

"But what do you expect?" said the Grand Marshal. "Look at our forces on the front lines. They're all brave human boys, strong and courageous. Fighting for kin and country. Can't say the same for the elves!"

In discussing this military racial imbalance, he noted "It's not because we don't want more elves fighting, it's just what the army is. I'd take them pointy-ears to the front, I really would. But I just don't get the elf volunteers."

When reminded that Prince Kael'thas did, in fact, volunteer his blood elf troops to fight on the front lines, but was ignored and his request dismissed, the Grand Marshal closed his eyes and stuck his fingers in his ears.

"I said, I JUST DON'T GET THE VOLUNTEERS!" shouted Garithos, walking briskly away and ignoring any future questions.

"Listen, we're not running for King of Lordaeron or anything," said Kristoff. "We're here for our own satisfaction, not for the dwarves', for the elves', or for anyone else's. No one should look to our army for that."

When asked if the New Alliance didn't represent a potential way for people of all races to cooperate and accomplish great things together without being discriminated against, and that at the end of the day, it could be a way to let humans, dwarves and elves all feel empowered, Kristoff shrugged, looking bored.

"Uh-huh. Cool. Totally."

4 Responses Subscribe to comments

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    May 22, 2014 at 7:14 PM

  2. gravatar
    Drea B

    That was lovely :)

    May 23, 2014 at 5:16 AM

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    There was so much fail in that Polygon article --and not just the representation part-- that I don't blame some people for unsubbing.

    The "fun and gameplay" over narrative alone explains a hell of a lot of their decisions over the past several years.

    And don't get me started on the representation part. If Bioware can do it, Blizz can.

    May 23, 2014 at 8:02 AM

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    The way you turned their own lore against them, that was...that was just beautiful.

    May 26, 2014 at 12:16 AM