Minipost: Saurfang vs Saurfang in WoD


A while back, TTGF was walking past Saurfang on the way down to Paragons, and we started talking about how awesome he is. While we were talking about him, I realized that in Warlords of Draenor we might have to actually fight the younger version of Saurfang, and perish to his fearsome cleaves.

But then I thought about it a little more - what if Saurfang fought Saurfang? By this I mean the grizzled old veteran Saurfang we all know and love ("Old" Saurfang) versus the brown-skinned, less-experienced but younger and stronger Saurfang of the Iron Horde? ("Young" Saurfang).

And you know what? If we're really messing around with history, why not make it Old Saurfang taking on Young Saurfang and his brother, Broxigar? Would Draenor even survive this clash? Would the planet end up shattered and cleaved into pieces a la Outlands from the ensuing destruction?

So who would win in such a bout? I have to still think Old Saurfang would emerge on top. He's fought so many more battles than a pre-Azeroth Young Saurfang/Brox and has so much more fighting experience. And even if he's lost a step or two to age, he's clearly still a badass, judging from the scores of slaughtered mantid in the Underhold tunnels.

It'd be really interesting from a lore perspective, too, since you KNOW Old Saurfang wouldn't want to fight himself and his brother. But in their eyes, he'd seem like some nightmare apparition - an evil doppelganger, twisted and corrupted, with monstrous green skin. Young Saurfang & Brox would probably recoil in horror and immediately leap to defend themselves, especially given how superstitious the Draenor-era orc clans were.

After a pitched battle, Old Saurfang has used his superior skill and patience to defeat his brother and his younger self, and he's standing over their unconscious bodies, leaning on his axe, panting and gasping for breath. He won, but just barely, and he's never felt so tired and "too old for this shit" in his life.

Fighting himself? Fighting his long-dead, beloved brother? It's too much. He's thinking about how he's going to go find Thrall and tell him he can't do it anymore, that he's tired, that he just wants to retire and enjoy his well-deserved peace...

But his thoughts are interrupted as someone leaps in front of him, standing protectively in front of the two fallen orc warriors. Old Saurfang grunts in surprise and lifts his axe, preparing to meet his new foe. A smaller opponent, less muscular than Saurfang or Broxigar. Shorter. Younger.

Then Old Saurfang realizes who it is.

Dranosh Saurfang.

(Enjoy your Monday!)

7 Responses Subscribe to comments

  1. gravatar
    koalabear

    Thanks for the chills and goosebumps Rades! >.>

    March 17, 2014 at 5:58 AM

  2. gravatar
    Orv

    Damn it Rades, I was not prepared for the feels at the end there.

    March 17, 2014 at 7:10 AM

  3. gravatar
    Anonymous

    They named him Dranosh. It means "long winded" in orcish.

    March 17, 2014 at 7:59 AM

  4. gravatar
    Anonymous

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't it be old green-skinned Saurfang versus old brown-skinned Saurfang? From what I understand, Garrosh is going back in time, but then time on Draenor is progressing so that when the Draenor Dark Portal is opened to our Azeroth Dark Portal, the dates are the same. More simply, Garrosh is going back to 1984, but WoD will take place in 2014 on both Draenor and Azeroth.

    But I agree, either way green-skinned Saurfang would be more battle hardened and likely win.

    March 17, 2014 at 9:09 AM

  5. gravatar
    Rades

    As far as I know, Garrosh is going back in time to before the orcs drank the demon blood, which I believe is around 30 years ago (since Thrall was born after, and Thrall is ~30 or so). I believe Blizzard has indicated that Garrosh spends about 5 years building up the Iron Horde before we arrive to confront them, which would be roughly 25 years age difference between Old and Young Saurfang. :) (At least, these are my best estimates)

    March 17, 2014 at 9:20 AM

  6. gravatar
    Astalnar

    I imagine it would go somewhere along the lines of our Saurfang beating the hell out of alternate Saurfangs without even breaking a sweat or unsheating his axe, and then saying: "You're both twenty years too young to be trying taking me down. Now, you come with me, and one day you might call yourself Saurfangs."
    The two young orcs slowly stand up in pain they want to mask from each other. Their faces bloodied, their ribs cracked, they nod to each other and then charge at the Old Saurfang one more time.
    Old Saurfang sighs: "Amateurs.. they never learn." and knocks them both out with one punch. Then he lifts them over his back and walks into the sunset.

    March 19, 2014 at 4:35 AM

  7. gravatar
    Anonymous

    Rades

    Just to take things in a slightly different direction. Depending on the difference in level, he just one shot the entire group. ;0. OK that was bad.

    Anyway, very interesting post.

    March 20, 2014 at 6:19 AM