Greetings, peasants. It is I, your marvelous Fabulor. You may commence rejoicing, for I come before you today to educate you about my annual celebration, Love is in the Air!
Oh, not how you too can be the recipient of global adoration and infatuation such as myself. Oh, no no no, mes amis, you misunderstand. Such ambitions are simply beyond one of your meager ilk, I'm afraid. Leave that to the professionals (read: Fabulor).
However, fret not! Even a uncharismatic boor like yourself can derive some enjoyment out of the festivities, while those gifted with superior looks and charm enjoy the romantic bounties being hurled our way. I have received word that the merchants are offering small tokens of decadence and some quaint keepsakes, which I assume are for bringing home and tucking away in a tacky little scrapbook or placing it with reverence on your mantle, or whatever it is you common folk do. So have fun with these! Or something.
It also appears that you can receive a special ceremonial title signifying your dedication to love, something Fabulor highly approves of! After all, while you cannot be me (no matter how hard you wish it), you can at least imitate your golden object of elven perfection by proudly proclaiming yourself as a Love Fool (for Fabulor). (It's implied.)
There are a number of menial tasks you must complete before you will receive the title. Even as famous a lover as myself had to jump through their hoops like some...worker! I could scarcely believe it. They wanted ME to go gather up dozens of gaudy little charms and work my delicate fingers to the bone, all to earn those little chocolates and sweets? How droll. And besides, have you seen those bracelets? Apparently "Lovely" means "cheap and shabby" in peasant. You'll never catch me wearing one of THOSE, that's for certain.
Fortunately, my cunning intellect and giant brain quickly devised a way to circumvent these tasks. The answer? Why, make others do all the work for you, naturally! Simply inform your legions of fans and groupies that you are in need of their assistance, and they'll trample each other in their frantic rush to please you and, maybe, catch your eye.
Here is a brief rundown of what your fans can do for you.
Lovely Charms and Lovely Charm Bracelets
First things first, those dreadful bracelets. Rather than spend your valuable time and effort out getting filthy scrounging the things from corpses, send your admirers to do the dirty work! The Lovely Charms will be bound to them, but the resulting Lovely Charm Bracelets (created by combining 10 Lovely Charms) are not soulbound. They can give them to you directly (I recommend wearing gloves - who knows where these people have been?), or if you prefer not to mingle with the hired help, they can also mail them to you.
Of course, this will only be tolerated after suitably gift-wrapping the bracelets first. Since the bracelets are limited duration items, the Azeroth post simply will not accept them. Bureaucracy! Feh! However, if you gift-wrap them, nobody will suspect a thing - ho hum, just one of Fabulor's standard stream of presents, nothing to see here.
Besides, this isn't some impoverished charity case they're sending their offerings to! There's a certain level of class that must be maintained.
In return for their hard work, I suggest rewarding them with a few coins, perhaps bestow upon them a warm smile if you are feeling generous. They'll never again wash the face that your smile shone upon! (If they even wash their face at all to begin with...) And if you want to be truly outrageous, you could even speak with them and verbally acknowledge their presence - such an act of kingly benevolence will likely be talked about in their hovel for weeks to come!
Bag of Heart Candies
How amusing! It's like someone took my fan mail and turned them into candies! Charming. Anyway, you will need to eat each of the eight different candies that can be found within these bags. The bags are alarmingly inexpensive, and the flavor reflects this - try to swallow them before their chalky flavor reaches your palette. If you like, you can ask your chef to brush them with a light almond glaze before consumption - it *might* help.
These bags bind on pickup, so your servants and admirers won't be able to simply hand them over. However, the candies themselves are not soulbound, and they can be traded directly from their grubby little paws into your finely manicured hands. Unfortunately, they cannot be mailed (limited duration), and they also cannot be gift-wrapped, due to their stackable nature. Why can't you gift-wrap stackable items? I have no idea. I don't send gifts - I receive them.
Do not worry, however! Fabulor has the answer. If you grant your servants access to your guild bank (and if there is room, amidst your countless jewels and riches), they can deposit their hard-earned candies for you to withdraw later at your leisure. Be careful now! Be sure to only give them permission to deposit, and not withdraw! The riches contained within are undoubtedly enough to tempt even the most loyal of acquaintances.
Box of Chocolates
More sugar? Don't these people know sweets are bad for the complexion, and my waistline? The sacrifices we make in the name of fashion, I tell you.
Similar to the Bag of Candies, the Box of Chocolates contains a random assortment of sweets, and you must sample each one to receive credit. The box itself is not soulbound, so be prepared for a flood of starry-eyed crushes shoving them into your hands, likely half-melted from their sweaty grips and the burning heat in their loins. Like the candies, both the box and the individual chocolates cannot be mailed, nor can they be gift-wrapped and then mailed, but either can be stored in the guild bank.
Handful of Rose Petals, Love Rocket, Silver Shafted Arrow
Finally, some useful gifts! I adore the rose petals - there's no telling when you'll end up in a dirty, smelly cave and need something pleasantly scented to freshen up the place. If I could, I'd hire a lad to follow me around and shower me in petals constantly, but alas, somethings are beyond even my incomparable wealth.
Those rockets explode into the air in a beautiful, dazzling heart. How perfect! I intend to collect a great deal of these toys while they are still in stock. It will be such a hit at parties, announcing my arrival in true Fabulor fashion. Perhaps I should contact the manufacturer, and commission some that spell FABU in in the sky, or perhaps simply my handsome face.
I have nothing nice to say about the Silver Shafted Arrow, however. The creature that gets summoned is horrid.
All three of these items - you guessed it - cannot be mailed, nor gift-wrapped and mailed, but they can be traded in person or stashed in a guild bank.
These strange mechanical contraptions won't fit in the mail, and are too bulky to be gift-wrapped. They also appear to be a safety hazard, as my bank manager steadfastly refused to let one of my fans leave one in the guild bank for me.
Unfortunately, this means that if you want someone else to get you the required Love Fools, they'll have to be accepted in person. You can either bite the bullet and endure close personal time with one of your admirers, or you could enlist the assistance of a third party to acquire the Love Fool, then pass it on to you. Personally, I suggest the latter. Simply send your butler or your maid out to fetch it for you - that's what you pay them for, isn't it?
Of course, you don't need to actually have the Love Fools yourself to complete this objective. If you hear that one of your peers is collecting them, simply let them know that you would be delighted to join them. Who could say no to a face like this?
Romantic Picnic Basket
Ah, now this is a treat. With one of these, a romantic meal is but a few seconds away! And you know, it's quite kind to share yourself with the less fortunate. In fact, don't just break out the basket in the middle of a crowded room, or there will be ladies (and probably some gentlemen) swooning and fainting all over the place. Be considerate of their easily-wooed hearts!
Even if you don't care to own one of these yourself, you don't need to necessarily gather up the funds required to purchase one. Just get a hold of a Buttermilk Delight from the Box of Chocolates, and ask around for someone who has the basket already. It'll be their lucky day! A rare, private lunch date with Fabulor? People would kill for such a prize!
So you see, attaining the Love Fool title really isn't that much work if you simply get others to do the work for you. Before long, this prestigious title will be yours, so ready yourself for the never-ending stream of affection!
After all, being a Love Fool (for Fabulor) is simply fabulous.