Impending Doooooom! [Letters]

To the great mighty Old Ones,

Your humble servant, the mighty Millhouse Manastorm, has survived where all others have fallen! Everyone else - Cho'gall, Corla, High Priestess Azil, even that cretin Drahga Shadowburner - didn't know when to cut and run, and they paid the price for their recklessness! Fortunately, prison taught me one very important lesson - SURVIVAL! Unlike those imbeciles, I quickly realized when we were outmatched, so I figured a tactical retreat was in order so that I could escape and warn you about how those louts dropped the ball!

To be honest, I really have no idea how they managed to botch things up so badly, masters. Everything was going great! We had the fragment of the World Pillar safe and secure, Lorthuna was all set to blow the Temple of Earth to smithereens, and we even managed to sway one of Therazane's kiddies to our side to help us defend the Stonecore!

Things were proceeding exactly as planned...and yet, somehow, the Earthen Ring didn't end up as stains on the rocky floor, but instead they killed Lorthuna! They weren't pushed out of Deepholm or crushed to bits, but instead they stomped right into the Stonecore, looking to wipe us out! I lit 'em up good, but I'm only one magical genius! They had me outgunned and outgnomebered.

I couldn't zap them all, so I lured them over to Corby's tunnels, hoping the gyreworm would pop out and crush them. Corby's been steaming mad ever since Deathwing left, so why not let him take out his frustrations on these heroic saps? It was a great plan!...except I may have slightly misjudged the distance from his cavern, and when he burst out of the ground, I might have gotten knocked over the edge down to where Deathwing had all those metal plates attached.

My bad.

But hey, no biggie! I figured the big rock worm, the big rock dragon and the big rock elemental would be enough to stop the invaders, or at least, weaken them enough for Azil to mop up. I wasn't worried for a second! It took me a long time to make my way back up (Deathwing didn't exactly build any exit stairs, especially not gnome-sized ones), so imagine my shock when I saw everyone dead or lying in rubble on the floor!

Even Azil had failed. I don't know how! All she had to do was crush them with those huge boulders she was so found of tossing around. How can you go wrong with giant rocks? What in Bonzo's brass buttons was she doing?? I'm baffled, mighty ones. Just baffled.

Anyhoo, now look at us - scattered and fractured, with our grasp on Deepholm - and, I've heard, the rest of the world - weakened and defeated! Those nincompoops! This never would have happened if I'd been in charge! But noooo, nobody listens to the gnome! I warned them!

It's really not surprising, I guess. For a cult dedicated to total global annihilation, those guys could be so shortsighted! (No pun intended.) They just never understood how dedicated I am to your cause, mighty ones. And now look at them. Dead. Stabbed. Puddles of mush. But not me! I am invincible!

Besides, those brats had the nerve to call themselves your servants? After they flocked to your call, scared and whimpering after the planet got a little crumbly and rumbly? Hah! Rookies! No wonder they blew it. Should've let me handle things. I'm old school, baby! After all, I've been yours ever since I ended up trapped in that silly space prison with Harbinger Skyriss, years ago! I'm not only older, smarter and more experienced than those kids - I've got tenure. Yeah!

It's kind of funny, looking back. As for as cellmates go, Skyriss was sure annoying. All he would do was talk about his allegiance to powers untouched by time, unmoved by fate, that kinda thing. It was interesting at first, but by the tenth time I heard I just wanted it to shut up so I could get some sleep! You ever tried sleeping on a bed made out of glowing blue crystal while a fifty-foot green bug thing was droning on and on next door about tastes of chaos and undreamed-of horrors? I didn't get a decent night's rest for a month!

Really not much of a conversationalist, either. You get pretty bored when you're stuck in a cell, especially when you're someone as bombastic as myself. But whenever I tried to break the monotony with a little banter, I got the impression Skyriss wasn't really interested in chatting. Either that or he's just really socially inept. I'd ask him what it did for a living, he'd tell me that I was a weakling and I'd do his bidding. I tried asking him if he had any family, he'd reply that he was one of infinite multitudes. That doesn't even make sense!

In the end though, he made a pretty convincing argument. The things he told me about you guys, well, it kinda blew my mind. He told me about the ancient stuff with those gross bugs down south in Silithus, and how you guys were all buried deep underground just waiting to be freed. Pretty heavy stuff!

I had a lot of time to think about what he told me, and I swear I heard and dreamed about you even while I was sleeping! Maybe you were already whispering to me, telling me what to do! (Or maybe it was just stupid Skyriss whispering through the cell walls in the night...that bozo.)

In any case, Millhouse Manastorm might be a lot of (awesome) things, but he's no fool! I could see the writing on the wall. Big things were coming, and I sure as heck wanted to be a part of them! I didn't want to miss out on this chance to join the winning team!

Anyway, things might look pretty bad right now, masters, but we haven't lost yet. We've still got the Twilight Father doing his sneaky stuff over in Stormwind, and of course the big D's still out there, doing...well, whatever it is he does. Burning things, I guess? I don't really know but I'm sure it's really bad. So some of our biggest cards are still in play!

Plus, of course, I'm still here! Those silly heroes think they got rid of me, but it'll take a lot more than a little fall to get rid of the almighty Millhouse Manastorm! Before Corby knocked me over the edge, I was really working them over. They'll probably flee in panic once they see that I survived and am now out for revenge! I'm their worst nightmare!

And I've been working on something super special, just for this occasion, oh yeah! An extra large can of whoop-ass, double-M style! I gotta thank you, masters, for granting me the wisdom and imagination to come up with this one. It's a real doozy! You guys are gonna love this!

I call it: Impending Doooooom! Just wait until you see this baby in action! This spell will deliver a strike so diabolical, I'm unable to even accurately describe it in words! And my victims, they won't even be able to understand the full effect of as its blinding brilliance washes over them like a tidal wave of devastation!

I warned them not to mess with me. They're gonna be sorry!

So, masters, just let me know what you want me to do and I'll do it! Consider me your personal magic cannon - aim me at something and light the fuse, and LOOK OUT! Want me to blow up Orgrimmar? No prob! How about Stormwind? Wait, maybe not Stormwind. The Father's there and I'm guessing he'd be pretty bad mad if I blew him up. How about Ironforge instead?

Who's bad? Who's bad? That's right: we bad!

Show/Hide Letter Notes

Of all the returning faces that showed up again in Cataclysm, Millhouse Manastorm had to be one of the most surprising ones. We hadn't seen him since his random appearance in the Arcatraz back in Burning Crusade, and suddenly here he was as a high-ranking member of the Twilight Cult? How bizarre!

I was glad to see that he kept his awesome attitude, as we see in Stonecore as he fights, taunts and flees a few times before Corborus emerges and knocks him over the cliff edge. It really is funny that he actually attempts to cast Impending Doooooom! a few times before meeting his (apparent) demise.

Of course, this is WoW - if you don't see a body, they're not dead. (Of course, even if you DO see a body, and cut its head off, they're not necessarily dead. But I digress.) Was Millhouse killed in the fall? Well...why? It's just a fall. He definitely could have survived, especially since he's a...hybrid mage/warlock. O_O (Seriously, he casts Shadowfury, Fear, and Frostbolt Volley.)

Also, this seems like an abrupt, out-of-nowhere heel turn (switch to the bad side)...but is it really? After all, Manastorm WAS directly connected to a powerful agent of the Old Gods in the past - Harbinger Skyriss. Who's to say how long they spent locked up together in the Arcatraz? I joke about it in the Letter, but if Skyriss was constantly whispering Old God mutterings to Manastorm, who couldn't do anything to stop it or block it out, it very likely could have twisted him up mentally. Also, Skyriss is clearly a pretty potent Old God servant - maybe just exposure/proximity to it would have been enough to corrupt Manastorm, or at the very least, plant a seed of Old God touch within him.

As for the Letter itself, I tried to work as much of Manastorm's personality into his words as possible. Everything about this gnome screams brash, cocky and energetic. (And funny.) It's one of the reasons he was so popular.

I pictured him writing this letter, getting more and more excited as he went, maybe giving little fist pumps or verbal shout-outs to himself as he wrote. He may now be a member of a doomsday cult and completely dedicated to evil, but that doesn't mean he'd be any less fun.

4 Responses Subscribe to comments

  1. gravatar

    Oh Millhouse! Forever bringing the sass.

    November 27, 2011 at 7:01 PM

  2. gravatar

    I actually saw Millhouse in reverse, questing in deepholme, the the dungeon, and later on 4.3 and transmogging was declared, so I looked up stuff I wanted, and the last fight in there had something. I laughed so hard when I found millhouse there.

    November 28, 2011 at 12:02 AM

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    I was shocked and disappointed when i saw him in TH, he was such a lovely (not lowly!) gnome.

    November 28, 2011 at 2:57 AM

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    Despite the antipathy I generally feel towards gnomes in general, I really harbored the hope that Manastorm was secretly a double agent working against the twilights...

    November 28, 2011 at 10:05 AM